Romantic Tips and Advice: Looking for Romance
Romantic Tips are just that, tips. Everyone has their own vision of romance and each of us needs first to look into our own heart and be really honest about who we are and what we really want.
Romantic Tip #1
The keyword here is honest. If you are not truthful with yourself you won’t be able to be honest in a relationship.
1. Ask yourself what you really want to get from a relationship. Do you want companionship, romance, permanence, part time fun? Do you want a partnership or do you want company, or do you simply want someone on your arm when you go out? Maybe you want a family, to belong to someone, to boost your ego, to be like your friends or just to stop being lonely.
2. Ask yourself what you are prepared to do, give up, change or compromise in order to have romance in your life. Are you willing to spend less time with friends, to give up or cut back on a hobby that takes up your time? Can you see yourself changing things in your life, i.e. job, home, recreation time? If not, that's okay too.
We don’t always recognize truth, so don’t be surprised if you have to think twice about your answers. Remember, too, that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions. You need to be honest about your priorities before you go looking so that you make sure to find that “right” someone.
As an example, I was living with someone at one point in my life. When we parted ways I realized that he had not been honest with me and I was angry. I consider myself to be a very honest person and could not understand how I could have attracted such a dis-honest person into my life! When I really looked (I mean really!) at myself I realized that I had not been honest from the beginning…I couldn’t believe it. I had to admit that when he first moved in with me I had misgivings about the timing, I just didn’t feel quite ready. I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want him to feel rejected, I didn’t want to “let him down” and so I began a relationship with dis-honesty…and a dis-honest relationship was what I got!
Romantic Tip #2
When you are ready to “get real” with yourself you are ready to take the next step – learn to be an effective communicator. Communication is an important key to all relationships and it’s an area where people seem to be the most confused. We assume that because we can talk we can communicate – not true. Effective communicating helps us to get to the bottom line of what we want – want to say, to leave the emotion aside and stick to the facts, and to talk to others without pointing fingers, judging, or assuming that we really “know” what it is they are thinking. I highly recommend a book by Robert Bolton, PhD. – “People Skills” How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others and Resolve Conflicts. There are many other books, courses, programs available on the subject and I would advise everyone to find the one that says the most to them and follow it.
Why are effective communications not taught in schools? This is the most important skill to our success in the world and there is no time spent on teaching it. The best place to start is to learn to listen. This doesn’t just mean to hear what someone says, but to really listen. When we are not sure of what was said, or when we want to understand further, it is very useful to stop the person speaking and repeat back to them what you think you heard, as in; “so, did you say…?” You will often find that what they thought they were saying was not what you heard.
In order to be an effective listener you must look at the person speaking to you. Look them straight in the face and the eye so they know you are interested. If you think about the people you like the most you might notice that they are the ones that you feel listen to you…be a person like that. You can practice on people already in your life and notice the difference in how they interact with you.
Romantic Tip #3
This leads us to the next of the "romantic tips”. BE the person you want in your life. It won’t do you any good to think you want someone to be a friend if you aren’t one, or to be a good listener if you aren’t. Treat yourself the way you want a romantic partner to treat you, the laws of attraction will bring into your life what you think about most – so think kindly and lovingly about yourself!
It would be of benefit right now to take a look at the laws of attraction. I don’t mean physical attraction, I mean what you attract into your life. I attracted a liar because I was not honest. The law of attraction is universal, like the law of gravity – what goes up must come down. Simply put, we attract into our lives what we think most about. If we are always thinking negative thoughts then the people we attract into our lives will mostly be negative. If our mind is always in conflict our lives will be always in conflict.
Take a good look at your life and be honest. If you don’t have what you want in your life you need to change the way you think to change what you receive. There is an excellent ‘cd’ out now called “The Secret”. Look for it online and you may find that your life changes as you delve deeper into the principles you find there…mine has.
Romantic Tip #4
Start making your list… You really need to do some thinking here. What kind of person do you want in your life, and how do you want that relationship to “look”? Make a detailed list of all the qualities you want in a partner and rate them on a scale of 1 – 5, 1 being not too important, 5 being very important. For example, if you want someone who has dark hair, how important is that to you? What if the perfect person comes along with red hair? If you said that dark hair rates a 5 then the red head can keep on going! If not, yahoo!
Make sure to include every little detail you can think of on your list, i.e. hobbies/interests, age, physical details, income level/career, religious affiliations, future family situations, current family restrictions (is it okay if they have kids from a previous relationship?), past history, future potential, social style, assertiveness, self image… The list should be long and well thought out. Remember, there is no right or wrong here, what would make you the happiest?
Romantic Tip #5
When you make this list of attributes, include a section on lifestyle. What kind of lifestyle do you aspire to; does it have to be in place now or future potential?
When you have finished this "Romantic Tips" exercise, find pictures that support your dreams. You can look in magazines, online, anywhere you see something that’s on your list. For instance, if you want to travel with your partner, cut out pictures of some places you want to see. If you want to lead an athletic lifestyle, cut out pictures of people doing the various activities you like. If you like to read and study, find pictures of libraries and books that appeal to you. Buy a cork board, or some poster board and place your pictures on it with pictures of yourself as well. You can even get creative and put captions under the pictures. This is your vision board. Keep it somewhere you will see it everyday and focus on the pictures you have chosen.
Don’t be afraid to replace pictures as you find them, or as you change your vision of the future. You will find that the more you focus on the vision you have created the more these things will find their way into your life.
Romantic Tip #6
Now find that person! Networking is the key here. Use your "Romantic Tips" and tell all your friends and family what you are looking for. Your friends and family know you and love you, they want the best for you and that’s what they will be looking for. Next, join clubs, take courses, attend seminars, go to the places that person would be. If you can’t afford to go there all the time, save up and make a big splash when you can. The person you are looking for is out there, you won’t find them by staying home and wishing. Get out there and participate! While you are out there having fun and making more friends you will find that you worry less about finding the right person and presto – there they are!
Romantic Tip #7
And this is the last word – SMILE! You will find that people smile back….
Romantic Tip #1
The keyword here is honest. If you are not truthful with yourself you won’t be able to be honest in a relationship.
1. Ask yourself what you really want to get from a relationship. Do you want companionship, romance, permanence, part time fun? Do you want a partnership or do you want company, or do you simply want someone on your arm when you go out? Maybe you want a family, to belong to someone, to boost your ego, to be like your friends or just to stop being lonely.
2. Ask yourself what you are prepared to do, give up, change or compromise in order to have romance in your life. Are you willing to spend less time with friends, to give up or cut back on a hobby that takes up your time? Can you see yourself changing things in your life, i.e. job, home, recreation time? If not, that's okay too.
We don’t always recognize truth, so don’t be surprised if you have to think twice about your answers. Remember, too, that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions. You need to be honest about your priorities before you go looking so that you make sure to find that “right” someone.
As an example, I was living with someone at one point in my life. When we parted ways I realized that he had not been honest with me and I was angry. I consider myself to be a very honest person and could not understand how I could have attracted such a dis-honest person into my life! When I really looked (I mean really!) at myself I realized that I had not been honest from the beginning…I couldn’t believe it. I had to admit that when he first moved in with me I had misgivings about the timing, I just didn’t feel quite ready. I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want him to feel rejected, I didn’t want to “let him down” and so I began a relationship with dis-honesty…and a dis-honest relationship was what I got!
Romantic Tip #2
When you are ready to “get real” with yourself you are ready to take the next step – learn to be an effective communicator. Communication is an important key to all relationships and it’s an area where people seem to be the most confused. We assume that because we can talk we can communicate – not true. Effective communicating helps us to get to the bottom line of what we want – want to say, to leave the emotion aside and stick to the facts, and to talk to others without pointing fingers, judging, or assuming that we really “know” what it is they are thinking. I highly recommend a book by Robert Bolton, PhD. – “People Skills” How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others and Resolve Conflicts. There are many other books, courses, programs available on the subject and I would advise everyone to find the one that says the most to them and follow it.
Why are effective communications not taught in schools? This is the most important skill to our success in the world and there is no time spent on teaching it. The best place to start is to learn to listen. This doesn’t just mean to hear what someone says, but to really listen. When we are not sure of what was said, or when we want to understand further, it is very useful to stop the person speaking and repeat back to them what you think you heard, as in; “so, did you say…?” You will often find that what they thought they were saying was not what you heard.
In order to be an effective listener you must look at the person speaking to you. Look them straight in the face and the eye so they know you are interested. If you think about the people you like the most you might notice that they are the ones that you feel listen to you…be a person like that. You can practice on people already in your life and notice the difference in how they interact with you.
Romantic Tip #3
This leads us to the next of the "romantic tips”. BE the person you want in your life. It won’t do you any good to think you want someone to be a friend if you aren’t one, or to be a good listener if you aren’t. Treat yourself the way you want a romantic partner to treat you, the laws of attraction will bring into your life what you think about most – so think kindly and lovingly about yourself!
It would be of benefit right now to take a look at the laws of attraction. I don’t mean physical attraction, I mean what you attract into your life. I attracted a liar because I was not honest. The law of attraction is universal, like the law of gravity – what goes up must come down. Simply put, we attract into our lives what we think most about. If we are always thinking negative thoughts then the people we attract into our lives will mostly be negative. If our mind is always in conflict our lives will be always in conflict.
Take a good look at your life and be honest. If you don’t have what you want in your life you need to change the way you think to change what you receive. There is an excellent ‘cd’ out now called “The Secret”. Look for it online and you may find that your life changes as you delve deeper into the principles you find there…mine has.
Romantic Tip #4
Start making your list… You really need to do some thinking here. What kind of person do you want in your life, and how do you want that relationship to “look”? Make a detailed list of all the qualities you want in a partner and rate them on a scale of 1 – 5, 1 being not too important, 5 being very important. For example, if you want someone who has dark hair, how important is that to you? What if the perfect person comes along with red hair? If you said that dark hair rates a 5 then the red head can keep on going! If not, yahoo!
Make sure to include every little detail you can think of on your list, i.e. hobbies/interests, age, physical details, income level/career, religious affiliations, future family situations, current family restrictions (is it okay if they have kids from a previous relationship?), past history, future potential, social style, assertiveness, self image… The list should be long and well thought out. Remember, there is no right or wrong here, what would make you the happiest?
Romantic Tip #5
When you make this list of attributes, include a section on lifestyle. What kind of lifestyle do you aspire to; does it have to be in place now or future potential?
When you have finished this "Romantic Tips" exercise, find pictures that support your dreams. You can look in magazines, online, anywhere you see something that’s on your list. For instance, if you want to travel with your partner, cut out pictures of some places you want to see. If you want to lead an athletic lifestyle, cut out pictures of people doing the various activities you like. If you like to read and study, find pictures of libraries and books that appeal to you. Buy a cork board, or some poster board and place your pictures on it with pictures of yourself as well. You can even get creative and put captions under the pictures. This is your vision board. Keep it somewhere you will see it everyday and focus on the pictures you have chosen.
Don’t be afraid to replace pictures as you find them, or as you change your vision of the future. You will find that the more you focus on the vision you have created the more these things will find their way into your life.
Romantic Tip #6
Now find that person! Networking is the key here. Use your "Romantic Tips" and tell all your friends and family what you are looking for. Your friends and family know you and love you, they want the best for you and that’s what they will be looking for. Next, join clubs, take courses, attend seminars, go to the places that person would be. If you can’t afford to go there all the time, save up and make a big splash when you can. The person you are looking for is out there, you won’t find them by staying home and wishing. Get out there and participate! While you are out there having fun and making more friends you will find that you worry less about finding the right person and presto – there they are!
Romantic Tip #7
And this is the last word – SMILE! You will find that people smile back….
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Sheffield Dating, search for singles in your local area. Sheffield dating site featuring personal ads for single women and men. Find your perfect partner from a huge database of singles in Sheffield and the surrounding areas.
Sheffield Dating, search for singles in your local area. Sheffield dating site featuring personal ads for single women and men. Find your perfect partner from a huge database of singles in Sheffield and the surrounding areas.